Lately I have been thinking a lot about the posts that I have written over the years but I haven't posted. The ones where I am honestly raw about what is going on in my life that I don't let most people into. I wasn't ready to share them. One thing I hate about blogs is how people tend to want to only show how wonderful & happy their lives are when (hopefully) we all know that that isn't the complete reality. So personally I've always tried to be pure with what I post. But there is more. Yup, more that I don't share. Of course we all have our secrets & there are plenty that should remain so, but what if some of mine might be what someone needs? Might be what another is waiting to hear...
While I've been pondering this I came across this post on a well known blog & was more inspired & strengthened by these ladies...
http://www.creaturecomfortsblog.com/home/2012/5/3/things-im-afraid-to-tell-you.html
I'm still not sure if this is a good idea or not, but I guess I definitely appreciate it when other people post their honesty, so I'm doing it. Just promise me that if you run into me you won't try to talk to me about certain things. And feel free to adapt it yourself.
1st off, I wonder why I find posting on my blog even more therapeutic than writing in my journal? Shouldn't I be more concerned with the emotions I putting our there for possibly complete strangers? I guess maybe it's a passive aggressive way of letting the world know what's really going on in my brain underneath the Denae facade. I tend to come across pretty strait forward face to face & but nope, there is more lurking. But really I am getting better at losing the smile & happy conversation when I'm really not feeling it, but I am finding it is replaced with awkwardness & unsurety. Since birth I have convinced myself that when interacting with people I need to be overly assured & smiley & saying what I know people want to hear. While part of this really is me, most of it is there no matter how insecure I am feeling inside & this tends to only make me feel more isolate. But really being without it I am finding I am frozen a lot of the time. I am okay with this though & still feel more confident this way than the other because I know it is me. It's the real me.
images via weheartit.com
While I've been pondering this I came across this post on a well known blog & was more inspired & strengthened by these ladies...
http://www.creaturecomfortsblog.com/home/2012/5/3/things-im-afraid-to-tell-you.html
I'm still not sure if this is a good idea or not, but I guess I definitely appreciate it when other people post their honesty, so I'm doing it. Just promise me that if you run into me you won't try to talk to me about certain things. And feel free to adapt it yourself.
images via weheartit.com
3 comments:
Thank you for writing this Denae. I too have written many posts that went unpublished because I was afraid of certain peoples reactions. I admire your desire to be authentic even at the cost of some awkward moments. I, too, have the ingrained need to try to put people at ease by being nicey nice. (One year I made a New Years Resolution to not be 'fake', laugh at jokes that weren't funny, etc just to make other people feel more comfortable) It's a tough habit to break.
You've inspired me. I'm going to follow suit and put it out there and let the chips fall where they may.
This is so true. My most recent blog was just a total vent... frustration. But generally, I prefer the happier, show off my kids kind of post. Maybe the reason we don't often post "truth" is because (at least for me) I realize that the frustration, anger, or disagreement will pass...and will become a moment I don't want to remember fondly anyhow. It's late, and I have all these other partial feelings that I can't seem to put into words...but just know that I loved your post.
Well said :)
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