Last week I turned 30. 30. Yes, 30. Honestly I don't think I had ever attempted to comprehend 30 until this last year. It wasn't something that mattered, or really that I cared about. I would always be 20s. Bad sign. (I should insert here that it never bothered me to have my friends/ loved ones turn 30. They were just the same but older) When I realized about 6 months ago it really was coming & I was no longer going to be in my twenties I really started freak out. What? I am old. Kids haven't heard of actors that were popular when I grew up.... music I loved is now old school... Middle schoolers don't know who Madonna is (seriously true story)! I am obsolete! This was a struggle for some time, but about 2 months ago things started to change. I started feeling optimistic. 30. A woman. A new phase. A new stage. A stronger stage. A stronger woman. A more confident, secure & self assured woman.
I couldn't have predicted the life changing events that would happen during my 20s. As most, it was a growing time for me. It was the hardest, most satisfying, joy filled period of my life. Those moments of having/ raising my loves & finding who I truly am wouldn't be changed for anything. Without getting too much into detail, those 10 years disintegrated everything I knew about myself & everything I thought I was. Everything I loved, everything I believed, everything I wanted to be. Back at square one. The unsettled foundation I developed myself on gave way & I fought. I fought hard. But I think I can officially say now that I have won. With the strong help of loved ones, incredible friends & a beyond words husband, I have overcome things in my twenties that I never had hope of & I have found myself on top. Really on top. Secure & strong & ready for life. Reflecting on these things has given 30 a new look for me. 30 is me knowing who me is. Its a chance to start my life knowing myself. Starting out on top & solid. 30 & I are going to be the best thus far. I have a whole life starting now with me at my best.
A post on it's own will have to be devoted to the surprises that awaited me the 30 days up to my birthday, but here are some pictures of Ben & I on Catalina for the special day. What a stunning place.
7 comments:
That was beautifully written! Trust me, 30 is wonderful! I appreciate things way more now than I did. I love being out of the "starving student" age...I love being independent and understanding who I am more than I ever did. Live to love 30!
happy belated!! Denae, I loved turning 30! While I had a great time in my 20s, I felt much the way you do/did- it was a great time for figuring out who I was, having fun, etc, but going into 30, life was so much better. I was happier, more confident, stronger. I wouldn't have been at that point without my 20s (obvy), but there is something more stable about being 30-something. XO (see you so sooooon!)
PS: I apparently accidentally didn't want to share my info- the last comment is from moi, Carrie in Chicago!
it is hard getting older but you do learn things as you go and feel more confident. it may have taken time into my 30's and hawaii helped a lot but i quit worrying about what everyone thought and comparing myself to them, i don't think i would go back at this point!
catalina is beautiful!
Happy, happy 30 years to you. So happy that you are happy in who you are and where you are in life. I feel that 30 was a great birthday and life changing for me as well--its amazing as you get older how things become so much more clear and distinct. There's no more waffling about who you are and you are just so much more secure. I love and miss you to pieces!
PS-Have I ever told you that you should be a writer?
PPS-Love Ben's haircut.
PPPS-Where is Catalina?
LOVE this post, Denae, wish you'd put this one up when I turned 30 lol!! I thought I was going to be fine... until I actually turned 30... and then I kinda freaked out...
I think it took me until 31 to really get over it! But you are absolutely right, there's no need to see it in a negative light because there is so much from my 20's that I wouldn't want to go through again - so celebrate being older, wiser, more stable, and surrounded by loved ones!!
My mantra for this year: Become the Whole Jane
It's been a while since I looked at your blog so am catching up :)
Happy Birthday and welcome to the beginning of the rest of your life!
Believe me life just gets better and better (and I've had a bit of a tough one). From a (slightly) older woman to a (slightly) younger one I just want to say I have loved growing older especially since my 40's and I am now 56 and the going is still great.
So you see! The best is yet to come!!!
Love you guys - can't wait to see you again, after you've popped I will have two new miniatures to meet. I better get over there before they are no longer small...
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